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I am a stay at home Mom to 5 beautiful children, 4 living and 1 in Heaven. My oldest child, a daughter, died very suddenly when she was 8 months old. One month later, I became pregnant with my son, who is now 7 and have since added 3 more to our family. I love to write, garden, read, sew and knit. I am passionate about homebirth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing and gentle parenting.
I am a 2nd generation Mormon. My parents joined the LDS church in 1973, when my Mom was pregnant with my older brother. I grew up going to Primary, Young Women's and Seminary. I had all the opportunities that kids that grow up in the Gospel have. However, I had a different experience than some as my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are not Mormon. I had to figure out why I was a Mormon when I was young. What was so special about this Church? What was it that caused me to want to stay? My brothers and sister did not make the best choices when we were young. I watched them struggle because they were not living the Gospel. I had to answer for myself if that was the life I wanted, or if I wanted to be different. I chose to be different. I am a Mormon because I believe in Jesus Christ and His atonement. I believe that what my parents sacrificed so much for really is the true church of God here on earth. I love this Gospel and the peace, joy, comfort and hope it brings into my life. Knowing that I will be with my baby girl again someday, that our family is eternal, is one of the most important things in my life. Believing that after the resurrection I will have the opportunity to not only be with Emma, but raise her, gives me hope. I am a Mormon because I choose to be. This is the life I choose. This is the life I want. I can see who I am and who I want to become through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is why I am a Mormon.
When Emma died, I thought I would die too. Before her death, I was a typical Mom with her first baby. I went to church, I lived the Gospel, but I didn't understand the Plan of Happiness the way I do today. Knowing that God wants us to be happy, it makes sense that we can be with our families for Eternity. Heavenly Father knows that an eternity without those we love would not equal happiness. In the plan of happiness, we are promised that our families can be forever. It is through the atonement of Jesus Christ that this is possible. I am so grateful that I will not only be with my baby again, but that after the resurrection of Christ, I will have the opportunity to raise her in a perfect world. Those promises give me hope when I am in the darkest moments of my grief. Knowing that she is waiting for me, cheering on our family, and wanting us to make good choices and decisions keeps me going. Knowing that my family is eternal gives me a perspective in this life that many people don't have. It changes the way I interact with my children and my spouse. When I remember that we are a forever family, I want to cultivate these relationships to be something we all want forever. And for that, I am so grateful.
I have had various opportunities to serve in the church in my life. When I was young, we were in a very small congregation. At the age of 13, I was asked to be the chorister for Sunday meetings. That was the first time I was asked to serve in Church, but definitely not the last! I have helped with music in church, been a Primary Teacher (children aged 3-12), Sunday School Teacher, and worked with the Young Women (girls ages 12-18). Serving the Youth of the church was by far my favorite place to serve. There is something really special about being with the Young Women. I see so much of myself in so many of them. These kids need adults they trust and will talk to when they won't talk to their Parents. To be an active part of their lives when their testimonies are growing and developing is such an honor and privilege. I think opportunities to teach the youth are almost as important as teaching our own children and am very grateful that I was given that responsibility.