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In 2009 I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I have spent the last 2+ years working on my healing. I worked as a Software Engineer before I had children. My four children are now my full time job. I have one son who died at birth. For fun I enjoy reading, movies, board games and computer games.
My parents raised me as a Mormon. Even though I grew up as a Mormon, I choose each day to continue to live my faith. I gained my own testimony of Jesus and Heavenly Father in stages. Being close to Jesus has given me peace during my struggles.
My first son, Brian, died at birth. My husband and I were heartbroken. We had prepared and were so looking forward to being parents. Being Mormons though, we knew that families could be eternal. We knew that our son, Brian, was not gone forever. We would see him again when we died and we could be a family forever. This perspective lessened the sting of grief. We still mourned him. We still miss him. But, we know that he is still our son. We teach our other children, who never met him, about Brian. They know that they have a brother in heaven.
Living my faith contains three important parts for me: 1-my own personal relationship with Jesus and Heavenly Father, 2-teaching my family and 3-service. 1. I have found that personal prayer and individual scripture time is important for myself. I fall out of bed each morning onto my knees for morning prayers and then spend a few minutes reading the scriptures or recent talks from our prophet. This time in the morning before I begin my mothering duties helps me stay focused on what is right. I participate in many activities each week to help in my PTSD healing. One of my favorite is when I attend a weekly 12 step meeting with other members of my Church. In my 12 step meeting (based on AA), we focus on how the Atonement of Jesus Christ can heal us. 2. Each day my husband and I pray with our children at meal times and as a family in the morning. We read scriptures to our children each day. We take turns reading from the Book of Mormon and Bible. We go to church each week as a family. Being strong in our faith as a family is sometimes difficult, but I have faith that it what will make us happy. 3. Being a busy mom makes it hard for me to find time to serve others, but, I know that when I take time to serve others I feel happier. I teach a Sunday School class to adults in my church. I also visit 3 sisters in their home each month and try to help them however I can. Other unscheduled moments of service bring me and my family joy, like bringing cookies to someone, watching someone's children or helping out in my children's classrooms.